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"Well!" said Lady Blackthwaite. "Well done, Lisa! Everyone accepted youas a girl. Your dinner service was almost perfect. I bowled you a googlyat the end, didn't I, and you hit it for six. Don't you agree, dear?"Lord Blackthwaite nodded. "The illusion is remarkable," he said. "Yourbest yet. Dinner very well served."Those three words woke me up. 'Your best yet'? What did that mean? Hadthey had maids like me before? Was I their best maid yet? What happenedto the others - and what would happen to me? These new, rather moreimportant questions rudely shouldered aside my somewhat mixed pleasureat successfully passing as a female."My lord," I said, "what did you mean when you said 'your best yet'?What am I the best of?"Lord Blackthwaite gave his wife a look I couldn't read. She answered myquestion for him."Lisa, you're not the first maid we've had," she said. "I like trainingyoung people like you to be maids, and it's so much easier if theyalready have feminine... proclivities." You've had. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.'They're not hanging Wright tonight, ' she said.He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'The Stella Awards! Have not seen this one for a while It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico, where she purchased coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's right; these.
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